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Between Two Trailers
An unforgettable memoir about a girl who escapes her childhood as a preschool drug dealer to earn a divinity degree from Duke University—and then realizes she must confront her past to truly find her way home
“Home, it turns out, is where the war is. It’s also where the healing begins.”
Born to drug-dealing parents in rural Indiana, Dana Trent is a preschooler the first time she uses a razor blade to cut up weed and fill dime bags for her schizophrenic father, King. While King struggles with his unmedicated psychosis, Dana’s mother, the Lady, a cold and self-absorbed woman whose personality disorders rule the home, guards large bricks of drugs from the safety of their squalid trailer, where she watches TV evangelist Tammy Faye on repeat. Growing up, Dana tries to be the daughter each of her parents wanted: a drug lord’s heir and a debutante minister. But when the Lady impulsively plucks Dana from the Midwest and moves the two of them south, their fresh start results in homelessness and bankruptcy. In North Carolina, Dana becomes torn between her gritty midwestern past and her desire to be a polite southern girl, hiding her homelife of drugs and parents whose severe mental illnesses have left them debilitated.
Dana imagines that her hidden Indiana life is finally behind her after she graduates from Duke University and becomes a professor and an ambivalent female Southern Baptist minister. But Dana was a child of the drug trade. Though she escapes flyover country, she realizes that she will never be able to escape her father’s legacy, and that her childhood secrets have kept her from making peace with the people and places that shaped her. Ultimately, Dana finds that no one can really “make it” until they return to where their story home.
“Home, it turns out, is where the war is. It’s also where the healing begins.”
Born to drug-dealing parents in rural Indiana, Dana Trent is a preschooler the first time she uses a razor blade to cut up weed and fill dime bags for her schizophrenic father, King. While King struggles with his unmedicated psychosis, Dana’s mother, the Lady, a cold and self-absorbed woman whose personality disorders rule the home, guards large bricks of drugs from the safety of their squalid trailer, where she watches TV evangelist Tammy Faye on repeat. Growing up, Dana tries to be the daughter each of her parents wanted: a drug lord’s heir and a debutante minister. But when the Lady impulsively plucks Dana from the Midwest and moves the two of them south, their fresh start results in homelessness and bankruptcy. In North Carolina, Dana becomes torn between her gritty midwestern past and her desire to be a polite southern girl, hiding her homelife of drugs and parents whose severe mental illnesses have left them debilitated.
Dana imagines that her hidden Indiana life is finally behind her after she graduates from Duke University and becomes a professor and an ambivalent female Southern Baptist minister. But Dana was a child of the drug trade. Though she escapes flyover country, she realizes that she will never be able to escape her father’s legacy, and that her childhood secrets have kept her from making peace with the people and places that shaped her. Ultimately, Dana finds that no one can really “make it” until they return to where their story home.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published April 16, 2024
About the author
J. Dana Trent
8 books95 followersJ. Dana Trent is a speaker, professor, award-winning spirituality author, and minister. A graduate of Duke Divinity School, she teaches world religions and critical thinking at Wake Technical Community College in Raleigh, North Carolina.
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April 17, 2024
J. Dana Trent overcame a difficult childhood to become a Southern Baptist minister and a college professor in North Carolina.
J. Dana Trent
Dana's parents, Rick Lewman (aka King) and Judy Trent Lewman (aka the Lady), met at Cincinnati, Ohio's Rollman Psychiatric Institute, where King was a recreational therapist and the Lady was a psychiatric nurse. What's ironic is that both Dana's parents were mentally ill: King suffered from paranoid schizophrenia with depression and anxiety; and the Lady was narcissistic with dependent personality disorder.
Rick Lewman (King)
Judy Trent Lewman (the Lady)
In the early 1980s King, the Lady, and toddler Dana moved to Indiana, and the Lewmans bought a trailer in King's hometown of Dana, in Vermillion County. Dana is famous for being the home town of Ernie Pyle, a Pulitzer Prize-winning American journalist and war correspondent.
Dana, Indiana
The Ernie Pyle Festival in Dana, Indiana
Rick Lewman (King), Judy Trent Lewman (the Lady), and baby Dana
In Indiana, King became a drug dealer and the lady lounged around in a king size bed in the trailer's back bedroom, smoking joints, binge-watching the 700 Club, and guarding King's marijuana bales and cocaine bricks.
Dana's father (King) became a drug dealer
By the time Dana was four-years-old, she recalls, "I helped my schizophrenic drug-lord father chop, drop, and traffic kilos in kiddie-ride [ponies] across flyover country....Dad's entourage were loyal men with street names that reflected their personalities or vices....Together with them, our little family supplied Midwesterners with enough uppers and downers to soothe the monotony of landlocked Vermillion County."
Young Dana and her father (King)
When the drug trade was doing poorly Dana lived on ketchup sandwiches, and when things picked up the Lewmans ate bologna and scrambled eggs with cheese. Luckily, Dana's grandmother and grandfather (aka G&GL), as well as her Uncle Leuge and Aunt Marietta, lived nearby, and Dana could eat her fill when she visited their homes. Dana especially loved her grandmother's 'candy spaghetti', which was Chef Boyardee box pasta doctored up with ketchup and brown sugar.
Dana and her cousins with their grandmother and grandfather (G&GL)
Chef Boyardee spaghetti
Despite her chaotic life, Dana dearly loved her father. King would take Dana and her cousins on midnight bike rides, and impart wisdom such as: 'If you want to kill somebody, you do it in Vermillion County' and 'There's only so much sugar in the sack' (when King was out of drugs, time, or money). Dana notes, "We rode without the heaviness of drugs or cash that needed to be hidden. It was a rare respite from slinging and the fetid trailer."
Little Dana
Dana and her father (King)
King and the Lady had different aspirations for the future, and when Dana was six, the Lady took Dana and relocated to North Carolina - where the Lady had family. Dana's mother proceeded to divorce King, and Dana's anxiety resulted in her compulsively pulling out chunks of hair by the roots.
Young Dana
Dana writes, "I was now of two worlds - Indiana and North Carolina - and I took up a shape-shifting identity to be the daughter they needed in each environment." A therapist diagnosed Dana as "operating at a superior level of intellectual functioning" but with "emotional resources insufficient to cope with current stressors."
Young Dana
Dana being baptized at Binkley Baptist Church in North Carolina
The Lady sometimes worked as a nurse to support herself and Dana, but King paid no child support, money was scarce, and the Lady's family had to help out (a lot). Meanwhile, Dana felt deserted by her father, who seemed to have abandoned her.
Later on, Dana would spend summers in Indiana, visiting with her extended Lewman family. However, King's mental illness often led to bizarre behavior and forgetfulness about food, and G&GL would have to step in.
Dana enjoyed her summers in Vermillion County, but they hurt her relationship with the Lady. Dana observes, "Navigating time with my parents was a losing game of Whac-A-Mole. If I met the deficit with one, the other would pop up. It was as much about hatred for each other as it was about love for me or parental self-esteem." The Lady's resentment "manifested as meanness, then obnoxious self-importance that covered her insecurity."
Dana's mother (the Lady)
Things escalated to the point that the Lady insisted Dana change her last name to Trent (the Lady's family name). Dana observes, "It was the beginning of a formal certified separation from my heritage, my home, my father, and my family."
When Dana entered adolescence, she became boy crazy, and dated a steady stream of boys, in both Indiana and North Carolina. Dana writes, "I was the young woman who tried to replace her absent father's love and attention with external validation from the opposite sex."
Adolescent Dana
Dana and her father (King)
After high school Dana went on to Salem College and had dreams of law school; however, the Lady persuaded Dana to apply to Divinity School at Duke University, and, in time, Dana was ordained. The years after high school were hard for Dana, as booze and food put on the pounds, while anxiety led to Dana's prescription drug use.
Duke Divinity School
The Lady insisted Dana sever her Indiana roots; was miffed when Dana fell in love and got married; and did everything she could to control Dana's life - which Dana attributes to the Lady's mental illness. It wasn't until the Lady passed away, in 2017, that Dana could re-establish ties to her childhood roots in Indiana.
Dana and her mother (the Lady)
Dana's mother (the Lady)
Dana now seems to be a well-adjusted minister and teacher, and her resilience can serve as encouragement for young people in challenging situations.
Dana and her husband Fred
Minister Dana Trent preaching
Professor Dana Trent teaching
Dana with her husband Fred and their cats
Thanks to Netgalley, J. Dana Trent, and Convergent Books for a copy of the book.
You can follow my reviews at http://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.com/
April 9, 2024
A preschooler's hands are the perfect size for razor blades, begins Trent. I know because I helped my schizophrenic drug-lord father chop, drop, and traffic kilos in kiddie-ride carcasses across flyover country. (loc. 88*)
There's an opening to capture the attention if ever there was one. Growing up in Indiana, Trent was schooled from a young age in life lessons: if you kill somebody, do it in Vermillion County; there's only so much sugar in the sack; natural elements are the best weapons; never trust a liar. Her father was convinced that these lessons would not just keep her safe but make her strong, and her mother's focus was primarily on ruling the trailer from the nest of sheets and blankets she built up in bed. They loved her—but theirs was not a conventional love.
Dad, too busy to bother with me before I could walk, used duct tape to fasten my hands to my baby bottle filled with chocolate milk. I sat on the kitchen counter by him all day, lifting that duct-taped bottle to my mouth and catching his marijuana exhales as weed ash fell onto his open King James Bible. (loc. 113)
Between Two Trailers sees Trent through those young years of drug-running in Indiana (the right age for those kiddie rides: "That ain't no toy!" her father yelled (loc. 1033)) and off to North Carolina, where her mother relocated the two of them on a whim. A trailer her mother called a shotgun house because if our enemies sent twelve-gauge buckshot through the kitchen window, we'd drop like dominoes (loc. 103); ceiling tiles razored to pieces as her father searched for government bugs; apartments in North Carolina subsidized by the extended family as her mother's fortunes—and get-up-and-go—fluctuated.
It is King and the Lady, as Trent refers to her parents throughout the book, who set the scene and rule the roost throughout the book. King and the Lady who define what normal is throughout Trent's childhood and King and the Lady who compete for Trent's affections and future. The book slows down a bit as Trent gets older and dives headfirst into as ordinary a life as she can create for herself and as she moves away from the lessons of her childhood. It's clear, though, that however complicated a childhood it was (and oh man—it was complicated), Trent has come to make peace with that childhood and to embrace her parents for who they were.
Thanks to the author and publisher for inviting me to review this title through NetGalley.
*Quotes are from an ARC and pay not be final.
There's an opening to capture the attention if ever there was one. Growing up in Indiana, Trent was schooled from a young age in life lessons: if you kill somebody, do it in Vermillion County; there's only so much sugar in the sack; natural elements are the best weapons; never trust a liar. Her father was convinced that these lessons would not just keep her safe but make her strong, and her mother's focus was primarily on ruling the trailer from the nest of sheets and blankets she built up in bed. They loved her—but theirs was not a conventional love.
Dad, too busy to bother with me before I could walk, used duct tape to fasten my hands to my baby bottle filled with chocolate milk. I sat on the kitchen counter by him all day, lifting that duct-taped bottle to my mouth and catching his marijuana exhales as weed ash fell onto his open King James Bible. (loc. 113)
Between Two Trailers sees Trent through those young years of drug-running in Indiana (the right age for those kiddie rides: "That ain't no toy!" her father yelled (loc. 1033)) and off to North Carolina, where her mother relocated the two of them on a whim. A trailer her mother called a shotgun house because if our enemies sent twelve-gauge buckshot through the kitchen window, we'd drop like dominoes (loc. 103); ceiling tiles razored to pieces as her father searched for government bugs; apartments in North Carolina subsidized by the extended family as her mother's fortunes—and get-up-and-go—fluctuated.
It is King and the Lady, as Trent refers to her parents throughout the book, who set the scene and rule the roost throughout the book. King and the Lady who define what normal is throughout Trent's childhood and King and the Lady who compete for Trent's affections and future. The book slows down a bit as Trent gets older and dives headfirst into as ordinary a life as she can create for herself and as she moves away from the lessons of her childhood. It's clear, though, that however complicated a childhood it was (and oh man—it was complicated), Trent has come to make peace with that childhood and to embrace her parents for who they were.
Thanks to the author and publisher for inviting me to review this title through NetGalley.
*Quotes are from an ARC and pay not be final.
April 17, 2024
“My get-up-and-go done got up and went!”
I will now be using that line frequently, thank you Lady!! There are so many interesting (and unhinged) lines in this book, starting with the very intro which is guaranteed to make you go "what the heck did I just read?".
I normally would've listened to the audiobook version, but because of how crazy Dana's early childhood is, I know I would've kept pausing every few seconds going "what", so I'm really glad I read it myself instead. This way I could process the chaos that was happening much better.
So basically, the author grew up with two (very) mentally ill parents, her father (King) was a drug dealer and even trained her to follow in his footsteps from birth, and her mother (Lady) wanted Dana to grant her every whim and take care of her indefinitely while she lounged around doing nothing all day.
Dana had to raise herself, learn how to survive, and thrive which is no easy feat in general, let alone coming from a background like that. But she did manage to do it, and I'm so proud of her for it.
It was so fascinating reading about her life, I literally devoured her story and had to pace myself so that I wouldn't finish it too fast. She's an excellent storyteller, knowing exactly how to keep her readers engaged. I'd love to read more of her work in the future, in book form or not.
There's even some things we have in common (not the drug dealing father, thankfully), like getting carsick & trichotillomania. I was sitting there going "girl, me too!!!", I really don't remember the last time I've seen either of those things mentioned in a memoir, if ever.
Now for the slightly negative, Between Two Trailers had a time jump that felt a bit abrupt. We got to see her growing up in great detail, then suddenly she's an adult and that part of her life is told in flashes. I think the book would've benefited from another 50-100 pages added, to properly cover that period so that it wouldn't feel so jumpy.
There was one thing in particular I wanted to see more of, and that's Fred. Like the story of how exactly they met, a bit about their relationship and so on. Though I understand this is more about Dana's past/childhood and healing from it. And I also saw that she has a shorter book about their love story, so maybe it makes sense we didn't get more about it here.
I also wish my early copy had pictures, I'm pretty sure the final version will, so I'm jealous of all of you who get to experience that from the get go.
Though I did look through the author's socials after finishing the book, to see if I could put a face to the name, and her parents look EXACTLY how I imagined them, which just shows how talented of a writer Trent really is. I swear she described them perfectly, down to a T, I could see them (and the rest of the cast) so clearly.
All in all, I enjoyed this memoir and would recommend it to anyone who feels like reading an unbelievable story that actually happened, and one that's so engrossing it reads like fiction instead of nonfiction.
P. S. There might've been something to King's Vaseline theory, it sounds completely sensible to me!
*Thank you to the publishers and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
I will now be using that line frequently, thank you Lady!! There are so many interesting (and unhinged) lines in this book, starting with the very intro which is guaranteed to make you go "what the heck did I just read?".
I normally would've listened to the audiobook version, but because of how crazy Dana's early childhood is, I know I would've kept pausing every few seconds going "what", so I'm really glad I read it myself instead. This way I could process the chaos that was happening much better.
So basically, the author grew up with two (very) mentally ill parents, her father (King) was a drug dealer and even trained her to follow in his footsteps from birth, and her mother (Lady) wanted Dana to grant her every whim and take care of her indefinitely while she lounged around doing nothing all day.
Dana had to raise herself, learn how to survive, and thrive which is no easy feat in general, let alone coming from a background like that. But she did manage to do it, and I'm so proud of her for it.
It was so fascinating reading about her life, I literally devoured her story and had to pace myself so that I wouldn't finish it too fast. She's an excellent storyteller, knowing exactly how to keep her readers engaged. I'd love to read more of her work in the future, in book form or not.
There's even some things we have in common (not the drug dealing father, thankfully), like getting carsick & trichotillomania. I was sitting there going "girl, me too!!!", I really don't remember the last time I've seen either of those things mentioned in a memoir, if ever.
Now for the slightly negative, Between Two Trailers had a time jump that felt a bit abrupt. We got to see her growing up in great detail, then suddenly she's an adult and that part of her life is told in flashes. I think the book would've benefited from another 50-100 pages added, to properly cover that period so that it wouldn't feel so jumpy.
There was one thing in particular I wanted to see more of, and that's Fred. Like the story of how exactly they met, a bit about their relationship and so on. Though I understand this is more about Dana's past/childhood and healing from it. And I also saw that she has a shorter book about their love story, so maybe it makes sense we didn't get more about it here.
I also wish my early copy had pictures, I'm pretty sure the final version will, so I'm jealous of all of you who get to experience that from the get go.
Though I did look through the author's socials after finishing the book, to see if I could put a face to the name, and her parents look EXACTLY how I imagined them, which just shows how talented of a writer Trent really is. I swear she described them perfectly, down to a T, I could see them (and the rest of the cast) so clearly.
All in all, I enjoyed this memoir and would recommend it to anyone who feels like reading an unbelievable story that actually happened, and one that's so engrossing it reads like fiction instead of nonfiction.
P. S. There might've been something to King's Vaseline theory, it sounds completely sensible to me!
*Thank you to the publishers and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
September 30, 2023
A beautiful memoir about resentment, regret, and redemption.
A marriage between two mentally ill drug addicts that begins in a psych hospital is bound to end in madness
In the 1980s, Dana grew up in a broke down trailer with her parents—educated and capable, but troubled— surrounded by bales of marijuana and cocaine bricks. Recruited to work for a drug boss and struggling with their own addictions, trauma, and mental health conditions, her parent's, "King" and "the Lady", left Dana mostly neglected. By the age of four, Dana was sitting at the counter chopping up marijuana for her father and helping him sling his drugs. After all, kids make the best hustlers... "No one expects a runt in a Looney Tunes T-shirt to shank you".
When she was six years old, the Lady ripped Dana away from her home and her father and moved her to North Carolina where life only got harder. Living in fear of abandonment by the only parent she had left, Dana grew anxious, angry, and lonely. It wasn’t until many, many years later that she recognized that in order to move forward and accept herself, she had to make peace with her past.
I realize now that... the real danger was in not accepting my parents for who they were, mental illness and addiction and poverty and all. The real danger was in not realizing that they were doing the very best they could with what they had.
Trent had a truly remarkable childhood. Bearing witness to her living through so much neglect and poverty was heartbreaking and yet fascinating to read about. I found it truly inspiring that she was able to turn her own life around after coming from such a rough upbringing. I'm such a sucker for these kinds of stories. The writing style was not my favorite, however. At times, the writing felt choppy and jumpy and, at other times, cryptic and vague, which would make it difficult to follow the story line but overall, I still enjoyed the journey.
Thank you NetGalley for my digital copy! Out 04/16/2024!
A marriage between two mentally ill drug addicts that begins in a psych hospital is bound to end in madness
In the 1980s, Dana grew up in a broke down trailer with her parents—educated and capable, but troubled— surrounded by bales of marijuana and cocaine bricks. Recruited to work for a drug boss and struggling with their own addictions, trauma, and mental health conditions, her parent's, "King" and "the Lady", left Dana mostly neglected. By the age of four, Dana was sitting at the counter chopping up marijuana for her father and helping him sling his drugs. After all, kids make the best hustlers... "No one expects a runt in a Looney Tunes T-shirt to shank you".
When she was six years old, the Lady ripped Dana away from her home and her father and moved her to North Carolina where life only got harder. Living in fear of abandonment by the only parent she had left, Dana grew anxious, angry, and lonely. It wasn’t until many, many years later that she recognized that in order to move forward and accept herself, she had to make peace with her past.
I realize now that... the real danger was in not accepting my parents for who they were, mental illness and addiction and poverty and all. The real danger was in not realizing that they were doing the very best they could with what they had.
Trent had a truly remarkable childhood. Bearing witness to her living through so much neglect and poverty was heartbreaking and yet fascinating to read about. I found it truly inspiring that she was able to turn her own life around after coming from such a rough upbringing. I'm such a sucker for these kinds of stories. The writing style was not my favorite, however. At times, the writing felt choppy and jumpy and, at other times, cryptic and vague, which would make it difficult to follow the story line but overall, I still enjoyed the journey.
Thank you NetGalley for my digital copy! Out 04/16/2024!
October 7, 2023
I don't typically rate memoirs, but as this is an ARC, I have provided a rating.
"Old baggage was hard to let go of, no matter where we found ourselves living, no matter how new our paths looked. King had his new place on an old coal pile; I had my new master's degree from an old university. But we were still us: Vermillion County drug-running trailer trash one meth hit away from the carny caste."
This memoir follows Dana, beginning with her earliest memories of her father making her separate marijuana seeds and stems and cutting cocaine with razor blades at four years old, to dealing with her childhood trauma in college, and eventually, in her forties, learning to understand her parents behavior and mental health. This novel was really interesting for someone studying psychopathology as Dana's parents both had some very complex diagnoses. Dana's experience makes me think a lot about attachment theory and how at some point, we will either have to work through childhood trauma, or the burden will only become heavier to carry. I would recommend this to all my social work friends. I only removed a star because it did feel a little unorganized and there were some meaningless tangents. I still read them because I was invested in Dana's story and felt she deserved to tell it just how she observed it.
Thank you NetGalley for this digital ARC.
"Old baggage was hard to let go of, no matter where we found ourselves living, no matter how new our paths looked. King had his new place on an old coal pile; I had my new master's degree from an old university. But we were still us: Vermillion County drug-running trailer trash one meth hit away from the carny caste."
This memoir follows Dana, beginning with her earliest memories of her father making her separate marijuana seeds and stems and cutting cocaine with razor blades at four years old, to dealing with her childhood trauma in college, and eventually, in her forties, learning to understand her parents behavior and mental health. This novel was really interesting for someone studying psychopathology as Dana's parents both had some very complex diagnoses. Dana's experience makes me think a lot about attachment theory and how at some point, we will either have to work through childhood trauma, or the burden will only become heavier to carry. I would recommend this to all my social work friends. I only removed a star because it did feel a little unorganized and there were some meaningless tangents. I still read them because I was invested in Dana's story and felt she deserved to tell it just how she observed it.
Thank you NetGalley for this digital ARC.
March 28, 2024
3.5
An interesting debut memoir from Dana Trent whose upbringing was extremely unconventional (please bear in mind I was brought up by middle class parents in Yorkshire). Dana's father, King, and her mother, Lady, met in a mental health facility where they'd both been previously employed. It was clearly a recipe for disaster.
King brought Dana up to be his sidekick when it came to drug deals. Lady wanted Dana to be her minder. I don't doubt that they loved her but they simply weren't capable of providing her with a childhood.
This leads to Dana struggling, in later life, with her own mental health. She struggled to make real friends and continued to be her mother's nurse.
The memoir, for all the chaotic circumstances, shows a young woman who cared for her family and her community very deeply. It's a really moving story that often left me open mouthed that a girl managed to almost bring herself up and keep both parents happy.
J Dana Trent is clearly an extraordinary woman.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Convergent Books for the advance review copy.
An interesting debut memoir from Dana Trent whose upbringing was extremely unconventional (please bear in mind I was brought up by middle class parents in Yorkshire). Dana's father, King, and her mother, Lady, met in a mental health facility where they'd both been previously employed. It was clearly a recipe for disaster.
King brought Dana up to be his sidekick when it came to drug deals. Lady wanted Dana to be her minder. I don't doubt that they loved her but they simply weren't capable of providing her with a childhood.
This leads to Dana struggling, in later life, with her own mental health. She struggled to make real friends and continued to be her mother's nurse.
The memoir, for all the chaotic circumstances, shows a young woman who cared for her family and her community very deeply. It's a really moving story that often left me open mouthed that a girl managed to almost bring herself up and keep both parents happy.
J Dana Trent is clearly an extraordinary woman.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Convergent Books for the advance review copy.
October 27, 2023
For anyone who thinks that this book may be a dramatization, as someone who grew up in the rural Midwest this book is gospel. I appreciated how it gave me insight into the upbringings of some of my childhood friends lives, as I lived more on the periphery of it all. I think this book should be required reading for all transplant Midwest therapists who wonder why so many of us struggle to express emotion or abandon our very sick families to take care of ourselves. Trent is so good with vivid imagery and while it was a difficult read I was honored to have been one of the first to read it.
October 1, 2023
between two trailers is a memoir that follows Dana, more affectionately known as ‘Budge.’ Dana grew up with two severely mentally ill parents, her father ‘King’ struggled with schizophrenia and was a drug dealer in their small town. Her mother ‘Lady’ dealt with personality disorders and had an obsession with psychiatric care, despite never listening to doctors advice on her condition. Dana was constantly pulled between the two parents, we see her being a razor wielding 6 year old to a full grown woman constantly attending to her mothers every need. Dana truely had to learn to survive her childhood, relying on the care of her community and extended family to keep her afloat.
An incredible story of addiction, loss, trauma, mental illness and pure survival.
Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the digital ARC <3
An incredible story of addiction, loss, trauma, mental illness and pure survival.
Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the digital ARC <3
May 2, 2024
(3.5/5 ⭐, rounded up)
(review to come)
(review to come)
May 4, 2024
4.5 🌟 but rounding up. Even though this took me forever to finish, it had nothing to do with the actual book. Loved her writing style and the way she communicates all this batshit crazy stuff; you forget that this is all in the perspective of a whole child.
April 28, 2024
3.5 stars!
Dana lives with her parents, the Lady and King. The Lady has severe mental illness, never gets out of her bed and pays very little attention to Dana. King is a drug dealer, who employs Dana in helping him cut product and acting as a lookout. King is also a paranoid schizophrenic, who is unmedicated and often experiences delusions. Through poverty and neglect, Dana finds her way after the Lady decides to leave King, once and for all.
Thank you to @convergentbooks and @netgalley for my review copies! This memoir reminded me of Educated in some ways. It was so gritty and I couldn’t believe some of the things that Trent endured as a young child. She was so resilient and overcame so much. I liked the length, but wish we knew more about Dana’s successes as an adult today.
Dana lives with her parents, the Lady and King. The Lady has severe mental illness, never gets out of her bed and pays very little attention to Dana. King is a drug dealer, who employs Dana in helping him cut product and acting as a lookout. King is also a paranoid schizophrenic, who is unmedicated and often experiences delusions. Through poverty and neglect, Dana finds her way after the Lady decides to leave King, once and for all.
Thank you to @convergentbooks and @netgalley for my review copies! This memoir reminded me of Educated in some ways. It was so gritty and I couldn’t believe some of the things that Trent endured as a young child. She was so resilient and overcame so much. I liked the length, but wish we knew more about Dana’s successes as an adult today.
April 16, 2024
On the surface, J. Dana Trent's memoir tells the dramatic story of a childhood with two mentally ill, addicted parents. There's a deeper story here, too, that should be relatable to anyone who has ever questioned what it means to call a particular place your home.
I grew up with a similar family dynamic, and the emotional tone of the book rang true to me. Trent is a fantastic, detail-oriented writer who interweaves multiple places and timelines into a moving narrative that made me sob like a baby at the end. This was a great read!
(Thanks to NetGalley and Convergent Press for providing me with an ARC copy of Between Two Trailers to review.)
I grew up with a similar family dynamic, and the emotional tone of the book rang true to me. Trent is a fantastic, detail-oriented writer who interweaves multiple places and timelines into a moving narrative that made me sob like a baby at the end. This was a great read!
(Thanks to NetGalley and Convergent Press for providing me with an ARC copy of Between Two Trailers to review.)
October 30, 2023
I typically do not rate memoirs because it seems a bit sanctimonious however since
this download is offered by Convergent Books, via NetGalley, I’m happy to share my
thoughts about the presentation, if not the story.
First of all, I’m often drawn to titles with their cover art, and this book jumped out
at me. The title and artwork captured me before I’d even looked at the description.
Now, having finished the book, I’m struck by how miraculous it is that a small child,
especially this child, was able to be the parent in her family and have silent influences
that ended up not just saving her, but giving her the internal fortitude to absolutely
soar to unbelievable heights-all while caring for her mother, and managing her father.
At times the story is a challenge- when you’re just afraid for the family, and not just
their mental health, but their freedom.
To make it to the end of the story is like a double rainbow of sorts. I absolutely
recommend this book. And my thanks to Convergent Books, via NetGalley, for
a download copy for review purposes.
this download is offered by Convergent Books, via NetGalley, I’m happy to share my
thoughts about the presentation, if not the story.
First of all, I’m often drawn to titles with their cover art, and this book jumped out
at me. The title and artwork captured me before I’d even looked at the description.
Now, having finished the book, I’m struck by how miraculous it is that a small child,
especially this child, was able to be the parent in her family and have silent influences
that ended up not just saving her, but giving her the internal fortitude to absolutely
soar to unbelievable heights-all while caring for her mother, and managing her father.
At times the story is a challenge- when you’re just afraid for the family, and not just
their mental health, but their freedom.
To make it to the end of the story is like a double rainbow of sorts. I absolutely
recommend this book. And my thanks to Convergent Books, via NetGalley, for
a download copy for review purposes.
April 13, 2024
Dana Trent is named for her town, Dana, Indiana. Her early memories are cutting marijuana with a razor blade, assisting her father in his drug dealing business. Her parents met in a psychiatric treatment facility. Her mother was nicknamed The Lady, and her dependent personality disorders caused continual havoc. Her father, nicknamed The King suffered from schizoaffective disorder which led him to make poor choices. The “only difference between the two was that his symptoms were unmistakeable.”
Both of them had college degrees. The King had degrees and skills and licenses to work anywhere else, he always came back to his hometown. Her mother also found work in the health sector. Her parents were moody, anxious, volatile and unregulated but they never beat her and food was never out of reach.
Her early home was a beat-up trailer which her mom called a shotgun house because if their enemies fired a shotgun down through the kitchen window they would drop like flies. Dana at one point had a thousand residents and thrived as a agriculture hub. It had an opera house, a theater, a bank, and churches that were busy and faithful. But prosperity is always temporary.
Home, Dana writes, “was there all along in my two very loving and very unconventional yet faithful parents, who believe in miracles. I am their miracle. I am their legacy. They are my home. Home, it turns out, is where the war is. It’s also where the healing begins.” Thank you to NetGalley for permission to read this delightful memoir.
Both of them had college degrees. The King had degrees and skills and licenses to work anywhere else, he always came back to his hometown. Her mother also found work in the health sector. Her parents were moody, anxious, volatile and unregulated but they never beat her and food was never out of reach.
Her early home was a beat-up trailer which her mom called a shotgun house because if their enemies fired a shotgun down through the kitchen window they would drop like flies. Dana at one point had a thousand residents and thrived as a agriculture hub. It had an opera house, a theater, a bank, and churches that were busy and faithful. But prosperity is always temporary.
Home, Dana writes, “was there all along in my two very loving and very unconventional yet faithful parents, who believe in miracles. I am their miracle. I am their legacy. They are my home. Home, it turns out, is where the war is. It’s also where the healing begins.” Thank you to NetGalley for permission to read this delightful memoir.
April 11, 2024
First and foremost, I want to thank NetGalley, Convergent Books and Dana Trent for this wonderful ARC.
In the 1980s, Dana grew up in a broken down trailer with her parents, "King" and "the Lady". Both of who were struggling with their own addictions, trauma, and mental health conditions. This left Dana mostly neglected by the both of them. By the age of four, Dana was sitting at the counter trimming up bricks of marijuana with her father and helping him sell his drugs. When she was six years old, the Lady took Dana away from the only home that she had known, leaving her father behind. Her and her Mother moved to North Carolina where everything seemed to get more difficult for Dana. She lived in constant fear of abandonment by the only parent she had left. She grew anxious, confused, and lonely. In her adult years, she understood that in order for her to move forward and accept herself, she needed to make peace with her past.
Trent had a truly remarkable childhood. Bearing witness to her living through so much neglect and poverty was heartbreaking and yet fascinating to read about. Some of the writing felt choppy and jumped around. I felt like we did go down many tangents that really lead to nothing, which would make it difficult to follow the story line but overall, I still enjoyed the journey.
To read more of my book reviews please visit my website, The Shelf Life Books.com
In the 1980s, Dana grew up in a broken down trailer with her parents, "King" and "the Lady". Both of who were struggling with their own addictions, trauma, and mental health conditions. This left Dana mostly neglected by the both of them. By the age of four, Dana was sitting at the counter trimming up bricks of marijuana with her father and helping him sell his drugs. When she was six years old, the Lady took Dana away from the only home that she had known, leaving her father behind. Her and her Mother moved to North Carolina where everything seemed to get more difficult for Dana. She lived in constant fear of abandonment by the only parent she had left. She grew anxious, confused, and lonely. In her adult years, she understood that in order for her to move forward and accept herself, she needed to make peace with her past.
Trent had a truly remarkable childhood. Bearing witness to her living through so much neglect and poverty was heartbreaking and yet fascinating to read about. Some of the writing felt choppy and jumped around. I felt like we did go down many tangents that really lead to nothing, which would make it difficult to follow the story line but overall, I still enjoyed the journey.
To read more of my book reviews please visit my website, The Shelf Life Books.com
May 13, 2024
A Heartfelt and Cathartic Read: "Between Two Trailers" Review
"Between Two Trailers" is a memoir that has left an indelible mark on my heart. I've searched for a book like this in countless others, and finally, I've found it. Dana's writing is masterful, weaving a narrative that's both poignant and empowering.
As I turned the pages, I saw myself in the author's story. The author's vulnerability and courage in sharing their trauma resonated deeply with me, and I felt seen and understood in a way that few books have achieved.
What struck me most was the Dana's productive approach to addressing their trauma. This memoir is a testament to the human capacity for resilience and growth. The writing is evocative, relatable, and engaging, making it easy to become fully invested in the story.
"Between Two Trailers" is a must-read, at least once in your life. It's a reminder that our stories matter, and that healing and growth are possible.
In short, I loved this book, and I'm grateful to have found it.
"Between Two Trailers" is a memoir that has left an indelible mark on my heart. I've searched for a book like this in countless others, and finally, I've found it. Dana's writing is masterful, weaving a narrative that's both poignant and empowering.
As I turned the pages, I saw myself in the author's story. The author's vulnerability and courage in sharing their trauma resonated deeply with me, and I felt seen and understood in a way that few books have achieved.
What struck me most was the Dana's productive approach to addressing their trauma. This memoir is a testament to the human capacity for resilience and growth. The writing is evocative, relatable, and engaging, making it easy to become fully invested in the story.
"Between Two Trailers" is a must-read, at least once in your life. It's a reminder that our stories matter, and that healing and growth are possible.
In short, I loved this book, and I'm grateful to have found it.
December 22, 2023
I received a free digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Trent's memoir is an open and honest, yet compassionate, memoir of growing up as the child of parents with mental illness and addiction in flyover country. She often lived in poverty, in dilapidated trailers or small apartments, and often left responsible for the emotional needs of her parents. She was exposed to danger and violence and neglected in many ways. Despite all of these challenges, she clearly has great love for her family and extended family and writes without bitterness or anger. As an adult, Trent became a minister (which I did not know prior to reading the book) but she never preaches or writes in a sanctimonious manner. Trent has a particular gift for depicting the larger than life "characters" of her life and the book was an enjoyable read despite her many hardships.
Trent's memoir is an open and honest, yet compassionate, memoir of growing up as the child of parents with mental illness and addiction in flyover country. She often lived in poverty, in dilapidated trailers or small apartments, and often left responsible for the emotional needs of her parents. She was exposed to danger and violence and neglected in many ways. Despite all of these challenges, she clearly has great love for her family and extended family and writes without bitterness or anger. As an adult, Trent became a minister (which I did not know prior to reading the book) but she never preaches or writes in a sanctimonious manner. Trent has a particular gift for depicting the larger than life "characters" of her life and the book was an enjoyable read despite her many hardships.
April 6, 2024
Between Two Trailers was SO GOOD!
I can't wait to recommend this to all of my memoir lovers., and I suspect this may end up on Obamas reading list for 2024. Dana begins this memoir when she is in preschool and helping her father, a diagnosed schizophrenic, run drug deals in their small town. Meanwhile her mother, who has her own personality disorder is languishing away in bed for years before she leaves taking Dana with her and leaving Dana's only home and family behind.
What follows is years of parenting upward in unstable situations, while Dana essentially raises herself.
Booksellers this is the perfect hand sell for readers who like Educated and The Glass Castle.
This digital review copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review. Huge thanks to Netgalley and Convergent books for my review copy!
I can't wait to recommend this to all of my memoir lovers., and I suspect this may end up on Obamas reading list for 2024. Dana begins this memoir when she is in preschool and helping her father, a diagnosed schizophrenic, run drug deals in their small town. Meanwhile her mother, who has her own personality disorder is languishing away in bed for years before she leaves taking Dana with her and leaving Dana's only home and family behind.
What follows is years of parenting upward in unstable situations, while Dana essentially raises herself.
Booksellers this is the perfect hand sell for readers who like Educated and The Glass Castle.
This digital review copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review. Huge thanks to Netgalley and Convergent books for my review copy!
November 12, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
I had a hard time getting into this book. I'm not sure why. Maybe the writing style. Maybe something else. But I'm glad I kept reading because it did get a lot better.
I've read a lot of books about children growing up with mentally ill parents but nothing quite like these parents who used their child as a drug trafficker. I'm amazed the parents didn't get caught and their daughter taken away from being around all the drugs and slum trailers.
The dynamic between Dana and her parents was fascinating to me.
I had a hard time getting into this book. I'm not sure why. Maybe the writing style. Maybe something else. But I'm glad I kept reading because it did get a lot better.
I've read a lot of books about children growing up with mentally ill parents but nothing quite like these parents who used their child as a drug trafficker. I'm amazed the parents didn't get caught and their daughter taken away from being around all the drugs and slum trailers.
The dynamic between Dana and her parents was fascinating to me.
April 21, 2024
Reading the synopsis I was immediately intrigued. A preschooler dealing drugs?! That’s wild.
However, upon reading the book I found that it wasn’t holding my interest as well. The preschool drug dealer thing is a little blip at the beginning.
Doesn’t make it a bad book but I didn’t find myself looking forward to reading more. I’m glad Dana was able to get to a good place in her life.
Thanks to NetGalley, J. Dana Trent, and Convergent Books for the opportunity to read Between Two Trailers. I have written this review voluntarily.
However, upon reading the book I found that it wasn’t holding my interest as well. The preschool drug dealer thing is a little blip at the beginning.
Doesn’t make it a bad book but I didn’t find myself looking forward to reading more. I’m glad Dana was able to get to a good place in her life.
Thanks to NetGalley, J. Dana Trent, and Convergent Books for the opportunity to read Between Two Trailers. I have written this review voluntarily.
February 29, 2024
This book caught my interest because it is set in rural Indiana, just over 40 miles from where I live. The author mentions so many things about small-town Indiana that I relate to. Her upbringing, however, was vastly different from my own. Hers is a story of mental illness, addiction, poverty, and childhood trauma. I was captivated by her writing style and her ability to look back on the trauma of her youth with a sense of gratitude (after a lot of therapy, of course). Despite the trauma, she came to realize her parents did the best they could. She was loved in the only way they knew to love her. After all, isn’t that what we are all doing? Just doing the best we can do, trying to make it one day at a time. I really enjoyed this memoir, and I commend the author for overcoming such a troubled childhood. Thanks to the publisher, NetGalley, and the author for this ARC.
Shelved as 'did-not-finish'
January 5, 2024Just couldn't get into this one. The concept is intriguing, but the way it's written is so detached and bizarre that I couldn't connect with it.
(I received this book for free through a Goodreads giveaway.)
(I received this book for free through a Goodreads giveaway.)
May 6, 2024
Repetitive and semi-pointless. We get it; you loved your parents and they were mentally ill. I do like the similes and metaphors but some people are going to think it’s overkill. Bare minimum, it’s hokey.
May 3, 2024
This was a good memoir. Definitely a tragic life but the author recounted her childhood, teenaged years, and early adult life so beautifully.
April 24, 2024
This book was an incredible true story of survival and compassion for our parents who do the best that they can given their circumstances. A MUST READ!
October 15, 2023
This memoir caught my attention with the synopsis. "Budge" was raised by two mentally ill parents. Her Dad had Schizophrenia and her Mom was a manic-depressive with a childhood full of drugs and poverty.
Both parents' mental illness pulled and pushed Dana through her childhood and into adult life, giving her an unconventional upbringing. Her story became a story of resentment, forgiveness, loss, trauma, and addiction.
Rating a memoir is hard. Everyone's story deserves a voice, and who is anyone to judge that?! Thank you to Netgalley and Dana Trent for this free ARC ebook. This review is 100% my honest opinion.
Both parents' mental illness pulled and pushed Dana through her childhood and into adult life, giving her an unconventional upbringing. Her story became a story of resentment, forgiveness, loss, trauma, and addiction.
Rating a memoir is hard. Everyone's story deserves a voice, and who is anyone to judge that?! Thank you to Netgalley and Dana Trent for this free ARC ebook. This review is 100% my honest opinion.
October 11, 2023
a beautiful memoir of addiction, trauma, resilience, and coming home.
i really enjoyed the writing style of the book. the writer’s voice really shone through and it felt like i was reading their diary. however, at times the story could be hard to follow or felt a bit repetitive, but overall it was a very enjoyable memoir. thanks to netgalley for the opportunity to read this!
i really enjoyed the writing style of the book. the writer’s voice really shone through and it felt like i was reading their diary. however, at times the story could be hard to follow or felt a bit repetitive, but overall it was a very enjoyable memoir. thanks to netgalley for the opportunity to read this!
Shelved as 'dnf'
October 4, 2023To publish in April 2024 - Thanks NetGalley, an honest review to come!
November 11, 2023
I very much enjoy reading memoirs, especially to get insights into people who may be very different from myself. Dana Trent is one such person. She grew up in a very dysfunctional family with parents who had severe mental issues and addictions. As an adult she has obtained a graduate divinity degree and is a college professor. For me she is a sure example of God's grace and calling on a person's life and all of the miracles in life we can find, if only we look for them. Trent had a horrific upbringing, yet she still has come to love her parents and her community of origin.
Trent is an excellent writer and this makes the story even more compelling. It is comparable to the memoir Educated, in my opinion, yet is better because Trent looks much more kindly on her upbringing than does Tara Westover. The conclusion of the book was wonderful: "Home, it turns out, was there all along in my two very loving and unconventional yet faithful parents, who believed in miracles. I am their miracle. I am their legacy. They are my home."
I highly recommend this book. I received an advanced digital copy from the publisher via NetGalley.
Trent is an excellent writer and this makes the story even more compelling. It is comparable to the memoir Educated, in my opinion, yet is better because Trent looks much more kindly on her upbringing than does Tara Westover. The conclusion of the book was wonderful: "Home, it turns out, was there all along in my two very loving and unconventional yet faithful parents, who believed in miracles. I am their miracle. I am their legacy. They are my home."
I highly recommend this book. I received an advanced digital copy from the publisher via NetGalley.
April 16, 2024
J. Dana Trent's moving and provocative BETWEEN TWO TRAILERS, a memoir of resentment, regret, and redemption in Flyover Country—an honest, heartbreaking tale of grit, wit, and hope. Trent writes about her upbringing in an attempt to make sense of it.
A powerful and intimate look into the raw struggles of American poverty, mental illness, and a tribute to family. From a preschool dropout and child drug dealer to a professor and author.
"A book for anyone who thinks they cannot go home."
J. Dana Trent's (Budge) parents, known as King (Rick) and the Lady (Judy), met at a psychiatric institute in Cincinnati, Ohio. They both worked there as professionals with college degrees. Lady (PSYCHIATRIC NURSE) had previously married with one son and divorced. King was a (CERTIFIED RECREATIONAL THERAPIST).
At 41, her mother gave birth to the miracle baby, J. Dana Trent. Even though her parents were college-educated, it could not mask their illness.
A marriage between two mentally ill drug addicts that begins in a psych hospital is bound to end in MADNESS. Her dad said you could not fix crazy. It was always a life of highs and lows. Throw in a baby in the mix, and there will be problems.
KING: Dad: schizophrenia, specifically schizoaffective disorder, which combines the worst symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia with depression and anxiety. From military prison, federal draft dodging, and a grand jury indictment for drug distribution.
LADY: Mom: Narcissistic and dependent personality disorders, diagnosed in the 60s after a handful of suicide attempts followed by inpatient lockups she fondly referred to as vacations. Mania and depression, listlessness and hysteria while self-medicating.
Her father had her heavily involved in the drug trade from the time she was four years old in their run-down trailer when the mom was watching Christian TV shows either on uppers or downers in the back bedroom like a zombie.
King and the Lady both had their methods of manipulation:
LADY: Suble and emotional
KING: Direct and skillful.
Dana had to fend for herself and often went hungry, eating ketchup and white bread sandwiches. She lived for the days she could visit the Dairy Queen as a celebration after a drug deal and the midnight bike rides.
Her only salvation was her wealthy grandmother and some of her aunts and uncles, who tried more than once to offer money and bail out her parents. However, those kind souls always ensured she had clothes, food, and a good time when she visited them.
After King and Lady separated, she moved with her mother from Indiana to North Carolina to be closer to her family and where she grew up. There, they received help and an apartment from her oldest son, a doctor in Chapel Hill.
From there, it was one job to another and a different home and school. Her mom could barely hold down a job working odd jobs, and Dana was left with a sitter. When she was home, she was sleeping. Back in school and moving from one place to another, she missed King—back and forth between Indiana and NC. When she was with one parent, she missed the other. Then, there were years of therapy.
Her mom thought she had a personality disorder; however, the therapists said Dana was operating on a superior level of intellectual functioning with post-traumatic stress disorder and present emotional resources insufficient to cope with current stressors. Thus pulling out her hair. The professionals said she was traumatized. A child who had already accumulated suitcases full of adverse childhood experiences, which, unbeknownst to her, made her very isolated and angry.
The King taught her to walk through the world, seeing everyone as dangerous. The Lady moved through life like everyone had done her wrong. The result was that she became suspicious of everyone, assuming most everyone hated her or was out to kill her. According to her parents, the world was not friendly.
There was bankruptcy, poverty, maxed-out credit cards, losing their homes, and her parent's mental illness. Dana was trying to be the parent and never got to be an average child. Later, there was destructive binge drinking and overeating.
Her life took a turn when she went to Salem College in Winston-Salem, NC, and later to Duke University Divinity School on a scholarship. She had to survive the polite southern culture of NC and her mom's ever-changing personality disorders.
However, growing up, she did have a safety net of well-to-do grandparents, and her older brother ensured she had shelter. There were aunts and uncles in Indiana helping with her caregiving and other relative sleepovers. They lived off church meals, scrambled eggs, toast, and cans of tomato soup. They had Chef Boyardee candy spaghetti and white bread at her grandmother's home.
After graduating, Dana finished college, married, and an ordained minister.
"Tough times never last, but tough people do." —Dr. Robert Schuller
Through it all, they had survived homelessness, bankruptcy, loss, and addiction. Dana emerged from the battlefield stronger. Courageous. Tenacious. Unbroken. She uncovered healing and home through a schizophrenic drug-lord father, her childhood, and her mother's personality disorders and mental illness.
The lesson she learned was you cannot deny that your past happens and not accept her parents for who they were: mental illness, addiction, poverty, and all. The real danger was in not realizing they were doing their best with what they had. The real threat was in hiding it all. She was supportive of them through it all.
She wants to relay the message to others who spend their life thinking they are adrift, leaving them secretive, ashamed, isolated, confused, wandering, and lonely. Home is where the healing begins.
BETWEEN TWO TRAILERS is an inspiring, heartfelt, beautifully written memoir full of emotion. It is heartbreaking yet witty at times. The author explores mental illness, poverty, addiction, a toxic childhood, and trauma—yet there is courage, survival, and hope after the storm. I highly recommend it. A compelling, remarkable memoir of resilience and redemption.
From the author: "I wrote this book to help us all make sense of the shrapnel of our lives. May Between Two Trailers be a companion for anyone who also longs for relief."
Fans of Jeannette Walls (memoir), Tara Westover (memoir), and Nora Dector (fictional) will enjoy this journey!
As an NC native, I enjoyed the setting, especially the Winston-Salem area, where I lived years ago and home for my grown sons and family currently. My daughter-in-law graduated from Salem College, and my granddaughter will hopefully attend Duke University after graduation next year.
Thanks to Convergent (Random House) and NetGalley for an advanced reading review copy.
J. Dana Trent is a speaker, professor, award-winning author, and minister. A graduate of Duke Divinity School, she teaches world religions and critical thinking at Wake Technical Community College in Raleigh, North Carolina. Check out the characters on her website.
Blog review posted at
JudithDCollins.com
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
My Rating: 5 Stars
Pub Date: April 16, 2024
April 2024 Must-Read Books
April Newsletter
A powerful and intimate look into the raw struggles of American poverty, mental illness, and a tribute to family. From a preschool dropout and child drug dealer to a professor and author.
"A book for anyone who thinks they cannot go home."
J. Dana Trent's (Budge) parents, known as King (Rick) and the Lady (Judy), met at a psychiatric institute in Cincinnati, Ohio. They both worked there as professionals with college degrees. Lady (PSYCHIATRIC NURSE) had previously married with one son and divorced. King was a (CERTIFIED RECREATIONAL THERAPIST).
At 41, her mother gave birth to the miracle baby, J. Dana Trent. Even though her parents were college-educated, it could not mask their illness.
A marriage between two mentally ill drug addicts that begins in a psych hospital is bound to end in MADNESS. Her dad said you could not fix crazy. It was always a life of highs and lows. Throw in a baby in the mix, and there will be problems.
KING: Dad: schizophrenia, specifically schizoaffective disorder, which combines the worst symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia with depression and anxiety. From military prison, federal draft dodging, and a grand jury indictment for drug distribution.
LADY: Mom: Narcissistic and dependent personality disorders, diagnosed in the 60s after a handful of suicide attempts followed by inpatient lockups she fondly referred to as vacations. Mania and depression, listlessness and hysteria while self-medicating.
Her father had her heavily involved in the drug trade from the time she was four years old in their run-down trailer when the mom was watching Christian TV shows either on uppers or downers in the back bedroom like a zombie.
King and the Lady both had their methods of manipulation:
LADY: Suble and emotional
KING: Direct and skillful.
Dana had to fend for herself and often went hungry, eating ketchup and white bread sandwiches. She lived for the days she could visit the Dairy Queen as a celebration after a drug deal and the midnight bike rides.
Her only salvation was her wealthy grandmother and some of her aunts and uncles, who tried more than once to offer money and bail out her parents. However, those kind souls always ensured she had clothes, food, and a good time when she visited them.
After King and Lady separated, she moved with her mother from Indiana to North Carolina to be closer to her family and where she grew up. There, they received help and an apartment from her oldest son, a doctor in Chapel Hill.
From there, it was one job to another and a different home and school. Her mom could barely hold down a job working odd jobs, and Dana was left with a sitter. When she was home, she was sleeping. Back in school and moving from one place to another, she missed King—back and forth between Indiana and NC. When she was with one parent, she missed the other. Then, there were years of therapy.
Her mom thought she had a personality disorder; however, the therapists said Dana was operating on a superior level of intellectual functioning with post-traumatic stress disorder and present emotional resources insufficient to cope with current stressors. Thus pulling out her hair. The professionals said she was traumatized. A child who had already accumulated suitcases full of adverse childhood experiences, which, unbeknownst to her, made her very isolated and angry.
The King taught her to walk through the world, seeing everyone as dangerous. The Lady moved through life like everyone had done her wrong. The result was that she became suspicious of everyone, assuming most everyone hated her or was out to kill her. According to her parents, the world was not friendly.
There was bankruptcy, poverty, maxed-out credit cards, losing their homes, and her parent's mental illness. Dana was trying to be the parent and never got to be an average child. Later, there was destructive binge drinking and overeating.
Her life took a turn when she went to Salem College in Winston-Salem, NC, and later to Duke University Divinity School on a scholarship. She had to survive the polite southern culture of NC and her mom's ever-changing personality disorders.
However, growing up, she did have a safety net of well-to-do grandparents, and her older brother ensured she had shelter. There were aunts and uncles in Indiana helping with her caregiving and other relative sleepovers. They lived off church meals, scrambled eggs, toast, and cans of tomato soup. They had Chef Boyardee candy spaghetti and white bread at her grandmother's home.
After graduating, Dana finished college, married, and an ordained minister.
"Tough times never last, but tough people do." —Dr. Robert Schuller
Through it all, they had survived homelessness, bankruptcy, loss, and addiction. Dana emerged from the battlefield stronger. Courageous. Tenacious. Unbroken. She uncovered healing and home through a schizophrenic drug-lord father, her childhood, and her mother's personality disorders and mental illness.
The lesson she learned was you cannot deny that your past happens and not accept her parents for who they were: mental illness, addiction, poverty, and all. The real danger was in not realizing they were doing their best with what they had. The real threat was in hiding it all. She was supportive of them through it all.
She wants to relay the message to others who spend their life thinking they are adrift, leaving them secretive, ashamed, isolated, confused, wandering, and lonely. Home is where the healing begins.
BETWEEN TWO TRAILERS is an inspiring, heartfelt, beautifully written memoir full of emotion. It is heartbreaking yet witty at times. The author explores mental illness, poverty, addiction, a toxic childhood, and trauma—yet there is courage, survival, and hope after the storm. I highly recommend it. A compelling, remarkable memoir of resilience and redemption.
From the author: "I wrote this book to help us all make sense of the shrapnel of our lives. May Between Two Trailers be a companion for anyone who also longs for relief."
Fans of Jeannette Walls (memoir), Tara Westover (memoir), and Nora Dector (fictional) will enjoy this journey!
As an NC native, I enjoyed the setting, especially the Winston-Salem area, where I lived years ago and home for my grown sons and family currently. My daughter-in-law graduated from Salem College, and my granddaughter will hopefully attend Duke University after graduation next year.
Thanks to Convergent (Random House) and NetGalley for an advanced reading review copy.
J. Dana Trent is a speaker, professor, award-winning author, and minister. A graduate of Duke Divinity School, she teaches world religions and critical thinking at Wake Technical Community College in Raleigh, North Carolina. Check out the characters on her website.
Blog review posted at
JudithDCollins.com
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
My Rating: 5 Stars
Pub Date: April 16, 2024
April 2024 Must-Read Books
April Newsletter
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